Here, for your postmodern amusement, is a transcription of a tragic love affair, between me and the russian mob. I've gotten these sorts of messages before, and it amazes me that they take the time to send four or five full-length emails before they actually ask for money. Also, though they sometimes respond to the content of the emails, they clearly don't read them or understand them, because I was threatening them the whole way through. Weird. I searched online, and I discovered that you can find the exact text of these emails on sites about Russian scams. Search for the woman's name on google and you'll see. The truly interesting thing is that some complete morons have sent these people money. Really. People are that dumb. From: Zinaida Sharipova Date: Thu, 4 May 2006 08:37:24 +0600 Hello my friend I am so happy to see that you have decided to reply,I see it is very short letter.It is all right because you are astonished to get my letter. I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I have not any secrets. The thing is that I will work in your country for three months or so and I would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends. I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here,it is hardly possible to explain from first time but I want you to know my plans.I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest me some locations. It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for. So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose any town of your area,agency will only help me to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in. My best friend last year met the man from the USA when she worked there for three months, too. She had two jobs. From morning till 4 pm she worked in amusement park and after it she worked as a waitress in some bar till midnight. She was very tired of course but made very good money there. It is special programm for young people who wants to work abroad and I think it is the right way for me ,I am lost here,and I think that I look pretty enough to find a better place .I want to repeat the same way,it is only my chance to meet a nice man.I want to work in USA or in Europe or any nice country. I am full of plans and different dreams and I want to share my life with good man because I'm also full of love and tenderness,I know that I am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince and I am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life! This is why I am going to go through the same way. Well,I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply. I will leave russia in two weeks or so (I can't tell you everything exactly right now) and I would like to be sure that I have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free time together to get to know each other better.if you have any interest to meet me I will be more than happy to meet you too. I will tell you all details about me and my life if you like my pictures and want to meet me! please send picture of you too!!! Now I write you from my personal mailbox, please write me back here and here only. I will be checking it often. Kiss you ,Zinaida (this is my name)! p.s I think you will be asking me about where I found your e-mail I found your e-mail in the adress book in internet cafe and decided write to you Sure you found my address book in internet cafe. I think you found it one one of those 'seeking swingers' sites that I so liberally sign up for. Darling Zinaida! What a lovely name you have. It reminds me of the sheep-herding women of the urals, who weave woollen coats with their breasts and can dance for days! It is a good sign to find a woman who has a good name, it shows that she is fit for child bearing. I hope you are able to get away from Russia, I hear it is a sad place where often men have three nipples and women grow hair on their noses. I would not want something like that to befall you. I do hope you will come to visit when you come here. I think that you could stay in one of the buildings that I have reserved for russian women like you. It is true that you are not beautiful like a princess, but it is ok, because I can tell you have a good heart and will make a strong profit. I will be travelling in europe all summer, but my man servant, manfred, should be able to show you around and put you to good service in the trade while I am away. When I return, maybe I will sample your wares. Here is a picture of me. It is from my modeling career. I am sometimes afraid I am too handsome, but I hope you don't think so. I hope to hear from you soon. Send money and flowers and your room and board will be reserved until you start to make a profit. Kisses, Jean I write such good nonsense. It's so tragic that they never read it. Hello my dear Jean, thank you for your kind letter! At first I think I have to say that I am new in cyber space and I have only good intentions. you should know that I am not very good writer in english,please be patient to read my messages and see many mistakes.to be fair I don't know what you want to know about me,in principle I am usual girl.I think I should tell you about me, my interests,tastes and hobbies.I think I will tell you about things I want to know about you and you will know my future questions. I am 25 years old,my birthday is 11 of July. I so much don't want to get older ,when I can see old women I am getting crazy to think that it is my future .I do all the best to keep my youth and I keep my body well.In spite of all difficultes here I am trying to be in good condition and I do a lot of exercises to be in good shape! I am about 174 cm tall (5.7) and my weight is about 56 kg. I've been told I look well enough , and I think that all women have own beaty. I have never been married and I don`t have chldren. I have one youngest sisters and it is great problem for us because we have only two rooms flat.you can't imagine what does it mean to be born in small town in Russia,there are not any chances to live well,to get a good job.All young people leave towns to search great luck in big cities but nobody waits for them there. I want to leave Russia,I know it sounds ugly but I know that I will be lost here like many young girls before me. It is not place to grow children and have stable future.I want to meet my right man . I think in future I can work as fitness trainer I have a certificate. My mother is my great problem too,she has a great dream to see me married and she wants to make me happy but I think it is only my business I am not a little child. She tells me every day that I should get married very soon... To be fair I am not sure I am able to explain all in first message I want to say so much! I just want you to know that I am not afraid to work,I am fairly goal oriented and I am sure you will be not disappoined to meet me in real life.I am going to spend three months abroad to work in any good place,agency promises to help me because it is only the way I can leave Russia.I will have all documents to travel in a few days and i will travel to moscow then,from moscow I will travel to you and they ask me about name of the city i am going to work,if you don't mind to meet me please tell me the name of your city and nearest international airport! I will book my flight from moscow! I think it would be so great to meet my love and stay there forever.I know that it is not so easy like I think but I think it is possible that I meat my real love. I want to love and to be loved I want to build our own happiness,only me and my man there. I don't smoke,I tried to smoke when I was younger.I may have a glass of red dry vine,sometimes it helps to relax. I try to take care of my body and face. I know it is all I have. My soul may have any itnterst for you later, I thinkso.I am not a little girl and I know that at first almost all men look at body ,legs and face.God created males such persons. Well,I think I am lost in my letter,I am not sure you understand my goals,please feel free to ask. I live in Russia,town Berdsk, Suvorova 15-34,it is near big industrial city Novosibirsk ,Siberia. My town is rather far from Moscow. Moscow is a capital of my country. I want you to reply if you understand my mind,my intentions,my soul,if not please reply too,I will continue my searching. Well,I will close this letter,I think you are tired to read it.and If you think that I should write shorter letters please tell me. I write from internet cafe in Novosibirsk because there are not cafes and possibility to use internet in my small town,we have 4 digital phone number and we can't call abroad.Even to call in any big town here in Russia I have to order the call in advance.and I would like to say please don't worry if I keep silence sometimes I have no time to travel ,it is about 50 minutes by bus from my town till Novosibirsk! Please tell me more about you,your tastes,likes and dislikes .also I have a few impotant questions----do you like strong drinks too much?can you be very drunk?very ofthen?can you be rude with women? Well,I have to stop or I will write without ending.Kiss you !see you later. In my next e-mail I will write you more things about myself and more details about my trip and work. Dear Zinaida, You are so sweet, I could cover you in strawberry cream cheese and lick it from all your crevices! I think you are speaking english very fine. Do not be shy to use your mouth and to talk whatever you want to. You are in luck, because I will be in budapest this summer, looking for beautiful russian women to add to my household. From what I have seen, you are one of the most beautiful russian women on the Internets. I hope your pictures, they do not lie. As I say, I will be in budapest, and maybe you could come visit and show me how you clean and cook and do the job of the blow. If you seem like a good woman, I will take you with me to america, where all the bidets are made of solid gold. It is good that you are a fitness trainer, my countrymen always need more fitness. It is also useful to be flexible, so that you may ride the horses and the jet planes and other things. I am a simple man. Life has given me many blessings, and I am happy for it. Among my hobbies are snakes, salad and airplanes. I also sometimes like to dress in mufti and take the tram among the common folk. I am not a violent man, so do not worry, my little turtledove of the volga. I know that women are sometimes wayward and need to be given a firm hand, but I am fair with my women. I do not drink too much, as it weakens the constitution. I do hope that you can come stay in budapest for the summer, we can see the opera and make love in the danube. It will be like childhood again, like when you are a little girl and your father helps you shave for the first time. Oh, and please do send more pictures. I love the ones I have so far, and I think they will do well to help you advertise yourself. Many kisses, Jean 'when your father helps you shave for the first time?' c'mon. Hello my lovely knight in the shining armor, I am so glad to see your letter again,I think I am a lucky girl to meet such man and I will do my best to meet you in real life! you know I can work in any city of your area because it is free choice and agency only helps me to get only travel documents (work visa)and ticket, and I do hope that we will like each other and now I have the destination. The agency will also suggest some places to work in. I do hope I have met my right man!you know I have told you before one of my friend worked abroad last year and have met right man,now they live there and they are going to marry. by the way now they are arranging the trip to Russia,(he wants to meet her parents and friends)I think if I feel that you are my dream and you have the same feelings we could think about our future together. if not I will just work and return back when the time to travel back. you know I am new here and I am afraid to make any mistake. I have one great lack,I am very impatient sometimes I can act without thinking. Sometimes I think that my dream is getting for real and it is so bad to be disappointed later. I want you to know all small things about me because it shouldn't be any misunderstandings between us. I want you to know that I am not angel and sometimes I can show my character.And I don't wait that you to be angel too, I just want to meet a kind man . I am very kind and I can forgive almost all I can't forgive if my man sleep with different woman, I don't know many nessesary words in english. I hope you can read between lines. A little more about myself! I've been modeling for some time. I am sending you my professional photos. my favorite activity is swimming. I like to swim in the Swimming pool very much. I wish we had the sea here! I like the sea! We have the sea near us but it is very cold one and It is impossible to swim. We do have some lakes though. Sometimes I think that I was the fish in past life. I wanted to be as swim trainer but I've been told that I will have ugly body with too wide shoulders. I finished The Novosibirskiy State Univercity, trainers faculty as fitness trainer but I don't work on my profession because there are no good fintess clubs in my city, I used to sit at home and to do all housework,helping my mom. I would like to have good job,I may work dancing teacher, or trainer of fitness,you know I have a certificate. I worked as a trainer a year ago . and I would like to do it again .you know how many more younger girls want to get this job too!Alot of competition here. I want to tell you about things I like: I like to make barbecue and I so much want to have my own home with fireplace. usually I make very tasty ones and in principle I like to cook and it is not problem for me to cook something tasty and I don't like to visit cafes and restaurants ,at first usually they can't cook weel(maybe only here) and second too high price. I like warm weather. and my great dream is to live somewhere on tropical island. Also I want to tell you about my dislikes: I hate our long winters it seems to me they will never end. I hate lies and unfaithfulness. I hate evil people and politicans I think they like to play wars, I hate any wars. What I like in a man: faithfulness, honesty. He has to be open- minded and open-hearted, also easy-going. and much more important he is kind,kindness makes our world! are you kind????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I think my man should be kind ,it is great feeling after love,only kind person may be happy,all rude people are unhappy. or must be. A few questions yet, agency tells that I will have a room in nearest hotel near my future work but if we like each other may be is it possible to live together? I think we will enjoy life together. do you have your car?animals? I can't drive and I do hope you give me a few lessons, to be fair I have so many plans .I will find out all travel details about my flight this week. I will leave my town today in a two hours and i think I will be not able to write to you today or so. When I am in Moscow I will send you short letter to let you know that I am all right and they tell that it takes about two days to get all nesseary papers, please confirm your phone number and international airport, I want to be sure I have all your details and Please don't look at different girls. I am the best(joke). Well, I will close this letter I think I am bore today,and please feel free to ask. See you soon!I can't believe everything is for real. to be fair I am lost and my head is like any big station with a lot of voice! KISS and LOVE Zinaida! My sweet buttercup, I am no knight in shining armor, I am just a simple man, and I am flattered that you think I look good on a horse. Do not worry yourself. Here is a picture of some money. To prove I am serious, I will give it to you ten times when you step off the plane into the train station. You will not have to worry about a thing. I will have my personal shopper buy you any wild-animal-print leggings you desire, pink lip gloss, high collared shirts and the good things that I know women from your country enjoy. I am glad you are not a professional swimmer. I once knew a girl who swam every day, and she had no hair anywhere on her body, except for her head. Her shoulders were so muscular that I had to turn her over when we made love so that I could imagine she was a young man. I am glad you are not like that. You are very pretty, sometimes I dream that I could set you in lucite and put you in a special room with my other trophies, only to stare at you for hours on end. It is only a dream. I will not dissapoint you, I am not the man to sleep with different women at once. I only will sleep in bed with one woman, and I will be done with her before I would do it with another women. What about you? Do you like only one man or are you like catherine the great of your country who made a bed to accomodate 8 young men and a stallion? I am open minded, and as long as you no longer work for pay with russian mob, and as long as you are not friends with gypsy, then I will be kind to you. My favorite movies are silence of the lambs, psycho, manhunter, ed gein and the sound of music. What are your favorite movies? I have many cars, but I prefer to travel by litter, carried by strapping young men. Does this suit you? I hope you will send me your professional photos soon, I look forward to seeing them and using them through the internets. Since you like warm places, I have included a picture of me in a warm place with a mango. I am very sweaty and manly, I hope you are liking mangos. Kisses, Jean Oh, and let me know if you still wish to call me by the phone. In order to not offend the sensibilities of people who don't want to see me naked on a beach holding a mango, I haven't included this photo Jean dear hello, it is me again and I want you to know that you can't imagine how happy I am. I have a schedule of my flight.you can't imagine how much crazy Moscow is. It is great fear to live here I think so!Our small town is more friendly . well,about our business, I tasted my blood,such rule for foreign visitors wanting to visit your country!Thanks God I am in good health, all of my tests are all right,I only need some vitamins I think it is the bad foods and long winters problem.I have to eat much more fruits and vegetables.The doctor said! well,here is all info ,I do hope we will together in a few days! Info from agenc ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Information for Zinaida Sharipova 'STour',Petrov Roman.5670768 Moscow,Lenina street 120,office 25. Date of departure : 05.18 Please use our service . Best regards.Manager Petrov Roman. Price: USD 1190.0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honey I am so glad to see that I am almost near my goal,and our meeting wait for us. I think I will call you from airport and I will wait for you there so long as you need,I mean if you need any time to arrive in airport. it is not problem to wait there because I know that it is the end of my trip and I have time to improve my condition(some parfume)after long jorney.I want you to see me in good shape! I think everything will be all right.Rather I am sure everything will be all right!. My Dear, they have told in travel office that I have to show tickets when I will visit embassy after tomorrow before my flight. People from embassy must be sure that I am not going to stay illegally in your country and I have tickets with returning data.it is very strong rule. I have some money but my flight from Novosibirsk to Moscow costed so much(about 400$) because so many kilometrs from there to Moscow. I didn't guess that tickets